Dog Thwarted in Effort to Kill Self by Eating Fake Breast
Dogs eat the strangest things.
Last night at the emergency hospital a nurse carried a five-year-old Terrier cross into the treatment room. She advised me matter-of-factly that the dog had consumed a fake breast three hours earlier.
To prove her point, she showed me the box that the clients wisely decided to bring with their dog. One end of it was chewed. Inside was a plastic tray with two slots. One was empty. In the other slot was a stick-on silicone falsie, size B. Evidently the dog had eaten one and found himself sated.
I evaluated the piece of silicone, coated in polyurethane, that the dog had not consumed. Although it was non-toxic, there was little doubt that the other half of the pair ultimately would lodge in the intestines. The dog only weighed 15 pounds. Size B was too much for this guy to handle.
Three hours had passed since the dog’s indiscretion. If the breast was still in the dog’s stomach, it might be possible to eliminate it by making him vomit. However, if the fake breast had already passed into the intestines, then the dog would require surgery. In that case making him vomit would be pointless. After three hours, either was possible.
I considered the option of taking an X-ray to see if the breast’s location could be determined. But a technician took a sample X-ray of the non-ingested breast and it turned out to be invisible. X-rays would be useless in this case.
I decided that the best course of action would be to make the dog vomit. But first I would need to talk to the clients. Keeping a straight face during the encounter would not be easy.
One of the nurses offered a helpful suggestion. “Only look at her from the neck up.”
I entered the exam room where a bemused looking couple was waiting. I did my best to maintain eye contact.
We discussed the risks and benefits of inducing emesis in order to eliminate the, er, product from the dog’s digestive tract. The clients authorized the procedure.
I prefer to make dogs vomit by giving an intravenous injection of a drug called apomorphine. I am aware of only one use for the medicine. It causes vomiting. I do not understand why many bottles of the drug contain a warning that it may be habit forming.
While a nurse drew up the medication I offered the dog some canned food. Filling a dog’s stomach with food before he vomits causes the vomiting to be more productive. It is like priming a pump.
I, for one, would be too nervous to eat low-quality food in my doctor’s office. But the sort of dog who is silly enough to eat a fake breast generally doesn’t let such trivialities stand in the way of gluttony. Although he lost his appetite for fake breasts after one, he had saved room for a half can of junk food.
The nurses mainlined the apomorphine. In the course of 30 seconds, the dog transitioned from a happy, tail-wagging, breast eating, goofy mutt to a visibly nauseated creature. He retched and regurgitated a small amount of dog food. He then recovered.
This would not do. For this problem, the dog would have to go through gut wrenching, side splitting, eye popping vomiting. He had brought this upon himself. He needed more apomorphine.
The nurses gave another injection of the medicine. This time the floodgates opened. The dog vomited copious dog food, a moderate amount of grass, several small twigs, an ear plug, some yarn, and a fake breast, size B.
45 minutes later the dog was ready to go home.
I had to ask.
“Do you want the other, uh, product back?”
The clients graciously declined.
You have questions. 
I guess the drug could be habit forming for a person with an eating disorder?
Great story though :)
Glad for the happy ending. I wonder if the yarn could have been more trouble down the road if the dog hadn’t eaten the fake breast. They wouldn’t have known about it and I’ve heard that yarn and string can cause some nasty intestinal problems.
Ah, the life of a vet. You just never know what’s coming through the door next! I’m glad this one had a happy ending. Congrats on keeping a straight face with your clients. That must have been one of the most difficult parts of the procedure! It helped that they sounded understanding. Gosh, dogs will eat anything, won’t they? Thanks for sharing a great story!
great story, silly dog, what I can say, but how U could look at the clients eyes without a smile on your face
Dogs really eat the strangest things. I once knew a dog that ate an entire set of car keys. That was an expensive surgery.
ive been wondering, will they stop eating one day
no, i MEAN , can they stop at a half of the plate at least
This is too funny and yes I am happy for a great ending to this tale. Thanks for the laugh. So I guess the moral to this story is keep the fake breasts out of your puppy’s reach.
My baby George ingested fishing elastic that had fallen unknown out of his Dad’s pocket.. thank Dog he was found with a piece of it hanging out of his mouth. We had to take him to the emergency clinic where they also caused the vomiting which brought up the 6 feet of elastic without further ado. He’s not even closely addicted to the meds they use. :D
Laugh out loud funny!! Great story with a happy ending (unless you’re the size B).
[...] Dog Thwarted in Effort to Kill Self by Eating Fake Breast – Don’t read this one while you’re eating, but with the veterinarian’s sharp wit and fast thinking treatment, this story is funny and the doggy lived despite his big mistake. [...]
Dog Swallows Fake Breast, Size B http://bit.ly/2Flk3 #digg #digguser
Dog Swallows Fake Breast, Size B http://bit.ly/2Flk3 #digg #digguser [RT]
Dog Swallows Fake Breast, Size B http://bit.ly/2Flk3 #digg #digguser [RT] [RT]
Dog Swallows Fake Breast, Size B http://bit.ly/2Flk3 #digg #digguser [RT] [RT]
RT @L_Hawkins @ThaMovieGuy @mjpdigg: Arf! RT @janinekahn: Dog Swallows Fake Breast, Size B http://bit.ly/2Flk3 #digg #digguser
RT @L_Hawkins @ThaMovieGuy @mjpdigg: Arf! RT @janinekahn: Dog Swallows Fake Breast, Size B http://bit.ly/2Flk3 #digg #digguser
RT @L_Hawkins @ThaMovieGuy @mjpdigg: Arf! RT @janinekahn: Dog Swallows Fake Breast, Size B http://bit.ly/2Flk3 #digg #digguser [RT]
RT @janinekahn Dog Swallows Fake Breast, Size B http://bit.ly/2Flk3 #digg #digguser
RT @janinekahn Dog Swallows Fake Breast, Size B http://bit.ly/2Flk3 #digg #digguser [RT]
RT @janinekahn Dog Swallows Fake Breast, Size B http://bit.ly/2Flk3 #digg #digguser [RT] [RT]
[...] This is why I think dogs are the most amusing creatures on the planet 14 10 2009 Dog Thwarted in Effort to Kill Self by Eating Fake Breast. [...]
[...] Unleashed’s Mark Milian picked up one of Dogster’s blogs by Dr Eric Barchas(8/09) with a killer headline: “Dog Thwarted in Effort to Kill Self by Eating Fake Breast” [...]